Backwards
by AisuruTenshi
Summary: For the first time in his life, Uchiha Sasuke wanted love. And for the first time in his life, Haruno Sakura wasn't willing to give it to him. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was freaking backwards.
1. Prologue

**Backwards**

_**Chapter One: Prologue**_

He stepped into the office, a commanding look playing across his features. His eyes shone with something that looked like amusement.

"Sasuke... leave." Emerald met onyx. It was only then, when he saw the stern look on her beautiful face that he knew that he had lost what could be the most important thing in his life.

* * *

The events of the morning replayed in Sasuke's head, only to serve as a grim reminder that something of great value would never be his again. Over and over he thought about his actions, refusing to believe that he ever did anything wrong. She would always have to try and please him; not the other way around. In the muddled mess that was Uchiha Sasuke's mind, one thing was clear. _This was not how it was supposed to be. This was fucking backwards._

Control. It was what he needed. Having an impeccable sense of composure on the battlefield, this new sensation of panic disgusted him. He wanted to be the one she was fighting for, not the opposite! Uchiha Sasuke did not have to fight for anything, _especially _if he wanted it from someone like Haruno Sakura.

He wasn't sure if it was the pouring rain on his skin or the name that made him shiver. The girl, now an independent and beautiful young woman had become a puzzle to him. She had put up a strong wall around her heart, and this time, it wouldn't be so easy breaking it. His breath formed small puffs in the air as he walked towards his apartment.

She truly had become the beautiful cherry blossom of the village, turning heads while walking down the street, smiling sweetly even at strangers, but that wasn't the part that bothered Sasuke the most. The worst of it all was that she would _never _look at him the way the other girls did. On occasions where she did need to speak with him, she regarded him coldly and rather nonchalantly. It drove him mad. He hated her for it. But this one thing that Sasuke wanted from her was something that cannot be easily acquired, especially after breaking someone's heart. For the first time in his life, Uchiha Sasuke wanted love. And for the first time in his life, she wasn't willing to give it to him.

Heh, shouldn't be that hard, right?

**A/N : **Well, this is bittersweet fic so keep it in mind when reviewing ^_^

Ehehe, also I love criticism so throw that at me whenever you

spot where I can improve, because that would be AWESOME, thanks :D

plzplzplz review and tell me how I'm doing and I'll keep the chapters coming :3

- [ Aisurutenshi ] -


	2. Chapter 1 - I was only dreaming

**Backwards**

_**Chapter 1: I was only dreaming..**_

"Fuck," was the first word that came out of the raven-haired teen's mouth. Again, he had found himself spacing out when listening to a lecture from the Hokage. The profanity, though, was for another reason entirely. He had just agreed to go on a four day mission with Haruno Sakura to Amegakure.

* * *

"Is there a problem, Sasuke?" Tsunade asked sternly. He grunted with annoyance and reluctantly shook his head. The weird look that the strawberry-blonde kunoichi was giving was also not helping him keep his attention on the Hokage one bit. He kept eye contact with the old woman and sighed inwardly. This was going to be a long mission.

He stepped out onto the cold pavement, his sandals squishing when he stepped in the occasional puddle of water. He didn't mind the cold, though. In fact, he liked it. Rain was nice, or at least better than stupid, sunny days. He was pondering those thoughts when he saw her, waiting by the east exit to the village. As he walked closer, he could see that something was bothering Sakura. He felt it too, this was the exact location where he had once left the village, long ago, before the war. He hid his smirk. _So at least she still has a fraction of feeling for me. _He mentally patted himself on the back. _Heh.. I still got it._

She noticed him and immediately changed her expression to a smile. "Hey Sasuke!" She said pleasantly. It stung him that she'd dropped the suffix she had used to refer to him with. _No Sasuke-kun. Just Sasuke._ In that one second, it felt like the consequences of his actions had just then fallen upon his shoulders. Then, he surprised himself.

"Hey," he said awkwardly. Even without a smile, Sakura was visibly taken aback by how he'd greeted her with some form of respect, and then, it felt like the temperature got a little warmer with her resulting smile. Still far below freezing, but a little warmer. "Let's go," he added, and with a nod from the medic ninja, both of them took off from the east gate and into the forest.

The journey there was disappointingly silent for the Uchiha, Sakura kept going forward without a word leaving her lips. He wondered to what lengths Sakura would go to keep him out of her life, and decided to have a little fun. He looked in her direction. No response. He noticed that her hair had grown a little longer, but it was still cut short, as a symbol of remembrance to prove that she had lost all affinity to him, he guessed. _Damn, this girl was serious._ She was of jonin rank, now 17 years old. He was an ex-missing nin, also 17 years old. For one second, the remote thought that she was out of his league entered his mind, only to be shooed off quite quickly. All the while, he was staring at her, wondering.

"Ehh... Sasuke?" Sakura was looking at him a bit funny.

"What?" He answered, directing his gaze forward again.

"Nothing" She looked forward again, and the boy thought it was his imagination, but he might have heard a giggle. Just a small tinkling laughter escaping her lips was enough to throw him completely. He was fucked. _Well, I must be going crazy now._ He thought to himself as he tried to shake away the thoughts of Sakura completely. It was a wasted effort, however, for as soon as he finished getting rid of her in his mind, night had to fall.

"Sasuke.. Do you want to stop here for the night?" she asked, slowing down and coming to a clearing in the middle of the forest. Judging by the amount of daylight left, they had been traveling for 5 hours, and it was probably around nine o' clock. He simply nodded in response, and they started unpacking. Sasuke set out his bed roll and began eating a few tomatoes he had packed as a snack when he heard the kunoichi groan. "Ah shit," she cursed, crouched over and shuffling around in her bag. She stood up and put her hands on her hips with a displeased look on her face.

"Hn?" He looked in her direction questioningly.

"I forgot my bed roll," Sakura groaned and began walking around for materials that would make her night on the ground the least bit more comfortable. A few moments of awkward silence passed, and Sasuke had felt a bit sorry for her.

"Sakura," he called out, his deep voice echoing slightly through the woods.

"What?" The strawberry-blonde's reply came almost immediately. Shit. Now what was he going to say, "_Sleep with me, baby.." _?

"It's pretty dark. You can.. uh share my bed roll if you want." He called back. _Smooth_, he thought as he mentally facepalmed. That wasn't much different from "Sleep with me".

"Since when did you care about me?" She replied icily, her words jabbing him like pins and needles. Dammit, his life sucked shit right now. Even though he had more or less fallen in love with this woman, he was sill Uchiha Sasuke, and nobody controls Uchiha Sasuke. He wordlessly walked over to her and looked her straight in the eye.

"Sasuke, what are you – eep!" She yelped as he picked her up bridal style and carried her to his bed roll. Her eyebrows furrowed as he set her down on the blanket and he shuddered, knowing that only her willpower kept her from snapping his arms in two like mere sticks. The medic-nin's strength was of massive proportions, and Sasuke was not one to experiment. He pulled the blanket over both of them and put his arm around her.

"Sasuke, I swear, if this is some kind of joke, I'm going to- mmph!" He cut her off by putting his hand over her mouth. Even as she struggled, she was still beautiful, he thought. The teenage boy buried his face in her hair and murmured, "Sleep," That shut her up. She pulled away and looked him in the eye, searching for some sign of amusement or betrayal. She propped herself up on one elbow and whispered faintly, "Sasuke, is this..."

"What?" he asked, looking slightly confused.

She looked hurt, even sad, those emerald eyes gave it away. She was like that for a while.

"Sakura, I'm not joking about this.. any of this" His meager explanation seemed to put a smile on her face, but only for a split second, as if she was still refusing to think about him. She looked at his face for a while, an equally serious expression on both their faces, before she sank back into the covers. She seemed to hesitate, and then put her head into the crook of his neck, making him jump a little bit.

"Now don't go about thinking that there's anything between us, she said, running her finger down his chest. He shuddered as both her finger and her hot breath glided down his chest. He put his arm around her body and pulled her closer.

He heard the sound of thunder, and jolted up, suddenly aware of his situation. He groaned as he realized he was not on a recon mission, but instead in his new apartment, which he had purchased upon the end of the war. He turned to the side to see the numerals "3:21 AM" glowing in red LED near his bedside.. Great. Now, not only was he dreaming about her, but he was enjoying it too. This girl would be the death of him someday.. and he had a feeling that he wouldn't even have a decent conversation before it happened. He leaned against his headboard and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Why do I have to go crazy now, of all times?" He asked nobody in particular. Out of exhaustion, he fell back on the bed and put the pillow over his head. After tossing and turning and several adjustments of his blanket, he was sure that the previous dream had shaken him enough that he wouldn't get anymore sleep that night. "Shit," He frowned in disapproval as he rolled himself out of bed, slid into some jeans and a black t-shirt (his favorite color) and grabbed his keys. After a quick check to see how he looked in the mirror, he opened the door and stepped out into the cold rain.

xXxXx

He walked fast, not really having a direction in mind. There was pretty much nobody out in the village at this time, but he didn't mind. The silence was only interrupted by the sound of the rain, and that seemed to calm Sasuke down quite a bit. Still, the dream was definitely strange. He pondered over how realistic it was, the way her responses stung his ego even in his dream. It was very uncertain that he would eventually "forget her" as he had been hoping to do. He slowed down when he was in front of the village's hospital, and he knew that her office was somewhere inside. He looked at the glowing sign, barely visible in all the fog and rain and he thought that maybe he didn't have a chance with Sakura after all. He kept walking and walking, thinking about the strawberry-blonde the entire way. He hated how she had that power over him, finding a way into his thoughts when he didn't want to think about her. _Being in love sucks shit, _He thought as he kept going forward. How different it had become, he grinned inwardly. Now it was reversed. Never in his life had he thought it would become this way. How would he have reacted to these feelings before? Never mind that, after all of his goals were accomplished, (He had dropped the idea of being the Hokage) rage had stopped clouding his mind. Well, there had to be something in his head instead of rage, Sasuke agreed. That was logical, he thought as he turned a corner and began walking down the main street. What he loathed, however was the fact that it was love, especially since it was directed towards a beautiful cherry blossom like Sakura.

He shook his head rapidly, as if trying to clear his head of the thoughts. He felt his clothes getting soaked and cursed himself for not bringing a jacket. Well, he could just go to the nearest stall and wait out the storm there.

"Oi! Teme!" Sasuke's eye twitched as he recognized that voice. Without doubt, the idiotic blonde known as Naruto would have to be around here somewhere. To his horror, he saw that the other boy was occupying the stall he was about to take refuge in, happily consuming a bowl of ramen at 3:45 in the morning.

"Naruto," Sasuke sat down next to him, taking off his coat and hanging it on a rack. "What the fuck are you doing eating ramen at this time?" he asked in a half bored tone.

"Hey, I have my cravings too!" He said defensively as he finished off his bowl. He turned to the Uchiha once again and nudged him suggestively. "Pink-haired girl keep you up at night?" He said, raising his eyebrows at Sasuke. The raven-haired teen's eyebrows also flew up considerably.

"What?" he regained his composure, acting as if it was an absurd idea.

"Oh, ok," Naruto just went back to his ramen, knowing that was pretty much all the response he would get out if Sasuke. _Yeesh, _Sasuke thought. _That was a close one. I can't have the dobe ruin this for me. Well, since I can't go back out in that rain, I'll just wait for it to pass, it'll most likely be gone soon._

He looked out of the shop and towards the left, and just his luck, he saw a cherry blossom tree. _Too bad I can't say the same for my feelings._

**Okay, done ^^**

**This is the end, btw, and if it feels incomplete, then that's how it should feel. This was probably a bad idea for me to attempt such a piece with complex emotions like this one, but yea, I guess I'll try simpler ideas and come back to this when when I get the chance.**

**Thx for reading, and check out my other fics ~**

**[ AisuruTenshi ] **


End file.
